Mother’s Day Funnies

In conjunction with Mother’s Day this Sunday, I have found a few funny jokes for today’s Friday Funnies. The jokes about the Photo Album and the White Hairs made me laugh non-stop. Share it with your mother, she might appreciate it too. ;-)

Mother’s Day Gifts

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”

The third said, “I’ve got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can’t see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it.”

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks.

She wrote to the first son, “Milton, the house you built is too big. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”

She wrote to the second son, “Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never used the Mercedes… and the driver is SO rude.”

She wrote to the third son, “Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes… the chicken was delicious.”

Photo album
The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
“Now do you understand?” he asked.
“I think so,” she said, “Is that when mommy came to work for us?”

A Sad Mother
A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again, “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you’.”
“Why should I? Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father’s Day gift.”
“Yes,” she said. “But I’m their real mother.”

White hairs
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, “Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”

My ultimate favourite is this one-line definition:

Sweater – What you wear when your mother gets cold.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Chiao Kee

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