How To Create A Good Marriage

I recently saw this letter by Paul Newman to his wife on their wedding day and thought it is worth sharing. I can’t vouch if the letter really is by Paul Newman but the message contained within it is truly timeless. Here’s his take on how to create a good marriage.

 “Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created.

In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding rooms for things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.”

What are some of your own rituals for cultivating a good marriage? Share them with me at the end of the post. I would love to hear them.

To Good Marriages,

Chiao Kee

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